All quiet on the western front…?

tumbleweed

Sorry it’s been a while since I’ve updated!

Life has been rather busy – with combining a youthworker job with a teaching role in schools and preparing for a wedding (I probably never updated this blog about that..!) so I’ve had a lot less time to do one of my favourite things which is drink coffee and think! 😉

I’ve read a book or two though and probably have some helpful youth resources some place lying around so I’ll get back on it and add them soon!

Things I don’t understand about football…

Just had to get these off my chest…

1. Why England never win.

2. Why all the left midfielders in the country are drowned at birth.

3. Why the goal decision system took so long when it basically amounts to a bloke, a camera and a watch.

4. How to do an overhead kick without infringing the “high foot” rule.

5. How strikers can look themselves in the mirror at night after rolling around on the floor so much.

6. How anyone can be paid so much for a one-day-a-week job which doesn’t really matter.

7. How being a gay footballer is such a taboo – yet most goal celebrations involve a suspicious amount of hugging and kissing.

8. What miracle formula is in the “magic spray” for injured players.

9. Who applies to be a 4th official and what training it requires (“Can YOU be shouted at for an hour and a half without stabbing someone? Maybe YOU could be a 4th official!”).

10. Why Arsene Wenger never saw the incident.

11. What Jose Mourinho is talking about.

12. What exactly constitutes “interfering with play”, given the complex nature of the universe and quantum mechanics as illustrated in the double-slit experiment.

13. If any fans actually understand the words to “Abide with me” or know why they are singing it.

14. Why you can get away with any kind of foul in the penalty area as long as someone is taking a corner – and before the corner is actually kicked you may be able to get away with a quick assassination or two.

End of rant.